How learning design and development taught me failure can be a good thing.
People spend their lives with a mental expectation of success. When that expectation isn’t met we automatically feel as though we’ve failed. Failure is like death it is something everyone has to experience but we all wish it were avoidable. It’s uncomfortable, sometimes it makes you feel embarrassed, inadequate, or worse.
“It sounds simple telling people to work hard and never quit, but to really execute and demonstrate those principles takes discipline and faith. Those are the two factors that I believe separate the good from the great; the successes from the failures.”
-Nipsey Hussle
In life, especially career wise, people have in their minds that they should have some milestone accomplished by a certain timeframe. If that deadline appears to not be accomplished our disappointment eventually manifests into a feeling of failure.
I want to discuss how learning UX/UI Design and development has changed my perspective on the idea of failing. I graduated a year ago from my UX/UI bootcamp and although I chose UX/UI specifically for the “problem solving” and creativity I faced a burn out before the middle of the third month of the program. In short, I quickly learned these weren’t the problems I was passionate about solving.
Unfortunately, this realization was discovered after being financially committed. Luckily I had found excitement in the frontend portion of the course. After graduation, I committed myself to getting a “return on my investment”as one of my course mates put it. I adamantly searched for employment, mentorship, really any type of guidance and all roads lead to nowhere.
“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.”
-Steve Jobs
One day I saw a job for junior developer role, I knew I wasn’t that good but I figured I could throw it into my pile of “We regret to inform you’s…” and say I tried. Instead I ended up getting an interview.
Although I wasn’t selected for the position I felt like perhaps I should drop UX and go to dev, but I couldn’t avoid the design questions. I also couldn’t avoid not getting feedback in design in order to improve.
How might I be able to improve a skillset without the proper feedback?
I felt like a failure, I only added to my student debt and confusion. After sulking I decided to start over, sure this first try was a failure but it highlighted all of my pain points.
In this iteration I changed my primary focus from what I wasn’t getting to what I wanted and was getting.This shift allowed space for me to discover my root cause analysis and strategize appropriately.
Problem: I’m unemployed but seeking something I find passion in, solves problems, functions well, and will always teach me something new.
For some this is easy, but I find passion and talents in a few areas so I had to do somewhat of a prioritization matrix to narrow down my decisions. Through some trial and error I found what I did enjoy about UX/UI and highlighted those skills in my CV.
This time I approached my job search with a sense of alignment rather than ability. This way regardless of the outcome I didn’t feel as though I had failed I only found a new way that did not work.
“Live with no sense of ‘mine,’ not forming attachment to experiences.”
-Buddha
This iteration of my portfolio and CV gave me the same result, no interviews. From this I began to speak to others primarily on LinkedIn to get feedback on what I was missing. None of the feedback helped me to land an interview but the conversations helped me realize what I’d rather be doing.
These things happen in live projects the user testing (returned feedback) could reflect a problem that the designers (self) weren’t aware of and causes them to revisit the drawing board.
I could tell my frustrations were beginning to rebuild, this only meant that I no longer thought I had options to succeed in this area. During this time I hadn’t forgotten about coding, it was still in the back of my mind and anything related to User Experience felt like a chore in comparison.
I decided to get reacquainted with coding. I do believe I needed to relearn design so that I have more comfort in discussing it, however I lack the passion that most designers have.
My passion was in development, I like building things but I also love the strategy behind creating software. I never fully believed that I could do it because numbers give me hives. I have a liberal arts degree and if you’re reading this you’ve discovered the art.
I decided to place my anxious disbeliefs in the trashcan and rebegan my self paced courses in web development. As I go through each lecture and apply the knowledge I realized I had discovered the problems I was more than willing to solve.
Doing different challenges encourages me to learn more. Once I learn it I have to apply it, if I don’t understand it I seek help (that always arrives), and the late nights are from my concentration instead of urgency of finishing a portfolio.
This iteration of finding employment is going at a slower pace than design did, and I like that just fine. It allows me to build on the skill and prevent getting overwhelmed.
“To go faster, slow down. Everybody who knows about orbital mechanics understands that.” -Scott Cherf
Since we’ve been reacquainted (coding and I) it’s felt like riding a bike after 20 years, you remember some of the logistics but you get smacked by a branch every so often when you think you’re coasting.
For some reason I enjoy that. Sure, I find frustration in moments that I only wanted to be working on something for 20 mins and it’s an hour later but once I discover what I missed I’ve learned. Learning design taught me failure is a part of the process and sometimes you think one thing but know another.
Development is teaching me to slow down, you’re always the problem. I say this because an error is anticipated, this field provides a different meaning to the skill “attention to detail”.
I now see points of challenge with code as an opportunity to learn not to fail, if it’s hard it’s because you’ve improved and consider something else easier. I find not knowing both humbling and encouraging.
